A Dare Devil 2

So, lying in bed last night I was thinking about if I had to lose one of my five senses, which would I choose? This is a question everyone asks themselves or is asked at some point in their life. Well, I pondered it for a moment and then decided I would lose my sense of smell. I love all my others too much. Then I was thinking of all the possibilities I would have if I lost my sense of smell. I could be the worlds greatest garbageman ever. Or I could easily work in a sewage plant, or I could pick up horse poop all day long. There are so many options! It would be like that movie Dare Devil, only instead of Ben Affleck being blind and kicking ass, he could have no sense of smell and clean up poop from a horse's ass.

But I don't think the box office ratings would be too high for that movie. . .

So I Was Thinking About Broccoli...

And that's a weird word, broccoli is. I asked myself: Where did that word come from? It's so strange! It's not your usual American word. So, I looked her up, and Broccoli comes from the Italian plural of Broccolo.

Silly vegetables.

Guilty to Flush a Toilet

I'm living in the dorms, right? My dorm is right across the hall from the bathroom. The bathroom echoes. I wake up today to hear this really soft classical singing. I strain my ears for a second. Is that coming from the bathroom? I open my door and stick my head out. I cock it, straining to hear. A girl walks out of the bathroom, sees what I'm doing and puts her head down and laughs, seeming to know what I am listening to and thinking it is equally peculiar and hilarious.

It IS coming from the bathroom!

Well, it was morning and I had to pee anyway, so I'm lured into the bathroom by this really beautiful voice. And I'm not kidding, it was like professional. I walk in and it's extremely loud. A girl is singing classical, and foreign, for it is in a different language, music in the shower. I laugh to myself and go to the bathroom to her singing. Then I stand up, and have an instant dilemma. I have to flush the toilet, but how rude! During this classical performance! But, I decide I have to, so guiltily, I push the flusher, and cut out the beautiful singing with the sound of a toilet flushing. I wait until it stops, and the singing is continued.

Pretty good morning.

Quid Pro Quo

1. Ever since I saw The Silence of the Lambs, Buffalo Bill has been showing up randomly in my dreams. He's never really "being bad", but I know he's a bad guy. I don't like him.

2. This made me laugh way harder than it probably should have: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX0w3S_GtU0

Advice to Kids Who Are Dorming It

If you're on top of a bunk bed in a dorm room and you can reach the ceiling-- Here's my warning to you: Don't reach up and touch it, because pieces of ceiling will fall straight into your eye.

Uncle Kane

If Orson Welles' face was thinner, and if he looked more like my Uncle Scott, I'd tell you Orson Welles looked like my Uncle Scott. But alas, Orson Welles' face is not thinner, and he does not look more like my Uncle Scott, so, I can't really tell you that Orson Welles looked like my Uncle Scott.

Sorry.

Plan B if College Don't Work Out Fo' Me

(On the subject of majors)

Jillian: I just have to figure out what it is I love. hah

me: animals
or plants
be a nature girl
HAHAHA

Jillian: no way jose
that's you and your whole ridiculous live in the woods bit

11:04 PM me: oh man, plan B baby
No taxes in the woods.
Can't find me, because I live in a tree.
No address
11:05 PM And I'll have a big conch shell to call all my animal friends with.
We'll have tea parties at 4:00
I'll grow a really long beard
and fish with my toes.

11:07 PM Jillian: you're a goof
you'd HATE living in the woods for more than a day
unless you did it with tons of money and electricity and heat and a house

11:08 PM me: Well, it would be a big life style change, but if I knew what to eat for food, I could make it for longer.
just watch. plan b baby, you'll never see me again

11:09 PM Jillian: haha okay
move somewhere warmer first
or we'll see you every winter
what would you do all day?

me: yeah, good call
I would build shit...
go swimming
dig holes
11:10 PM dig a tunnel system so I could navigate around undergroud
underground*
I'd carve stuff too, with my pocketknife
And search for sasquatch.
11:12 PM I'd braid rope from grass, also. Never know when you're going to need rope.

11:17 PM Jillian: haha

me: see? it's a solid plan